Final Draft:
Battle Through Cancer
It was the first time I had come home for a few days. It was the summer after my senior year, I was busy out trying to spend as much time as possible with my friends before we were split up, hours away from each other at different colleges. I had been deep into my nap when my mother woke me up. I didn’t think much of it at first, she probably wanted to actually hold a conversation with me after all this time. Still wiping the sleep from my eyes and trying to adjust to the evening light, my mom tells me my aunt, uncle and cousin came over to visit. This isn’t two strange in my family. Random visit aren’t that random to us, but this one was. I could see on my mom’s face the look of deep concern. I could tell by the tone in her voice when she said “come down and say hello” she meant right now. I walk downstairs and could feel an unspoken tension in the room. My aunt and uncle were quiet and looked like someone had just dropped a heavy load on their shoulders. I broke the silence and asked where Colleen was. Margeret replied with a scratchy voice, “in the car, she’s on the phone with her brother.” You could tell whatever was about to happen, it wasn’t going to be good.
I suddenly remember a conversation I had with my mom a week or so before. While I was running around enjoying summer I stopped by my house to pick up some things. Right before I was able to rush out the door my mom stopped me in the kitchen. My mind was going a million ways at once thinking if I was going to need anything else for that day and everything I was doing so I was only half paying attention to what she was trying to say. While I was getting a few last minute things from the kitchen she mentioned Colleen, and how doctors had found a tumor behind her leg but weren’t sure what it was yet. Her voice was serious and you could tell she thought it was a big deal. But I wiped it away like it was nothing. Colleen is seventeen it wasn’t going to be anything bad. I said ok and to tell me if there was any more news and that was it. I walked out the door without giving it a second thought. How stupid of me.
Colleen came in and stood in the middle of the kitchen with everyone’s eyes pinned on her. My heart began to race. I kept flashing back to that day in the kitchen where I didn’t take things seriously. It couldn’t have been what I thought it was. She was going into her senior year. She was just a young unstoppable kid with a bright future ahead of her. After a few heart wrenching moments of silence her mom cut in and said “Collen you have something to tell everyone.” She looked up from her new red cowboy boots and said “The doctors did a biopsy of the tumor and I have been diagnosed with cancer.”
It felt like I had been shot in the chest. We all sat and talked about what the doctors had said and what the road ahead was going to entail. I was successfully choking back the tears until my dad began speaking. You could hear it in his voice that he was on the brink of losing it. His eyes were getting watery as he talked about my grand mom who we lost to cancer a few years earlier and what she went through. “This is going to be tough,” he said with a crackling voice. This immediately made me think of the worst case scenario. Colleen and I had just been talking about how we don’t see each other enough and wanted to spend more time together. What if we never got the chance to do this? On her way out the door we all tool terns hugging her one by one. Seeing her finally beginning to lose it I whispered in her ear it’s going to be ok. We will get through this. As she walked away tears started too streamed down my face. What if the days I get to spend with my cousin are counted?
No one ever thinks they or someone in their family is going to be diagnosed with cancer. It’s not something you prepare for, it is just thrown in your face. We were all in complete shock but had no time to let the harsh reality sink in. The next week was filled with the constant sound of phones ringing, giving us updates on hospital visits and test results. The scariest part was the unknown. We had countless questions, but not even the doctors had answers yet. All we were told was that it is a fast moving tumor and that she was lucky that it was in her leg because that leaves room for the option of amputation. At least with this specific type of cancer there is a fifty percent chance she will make it through. We were told those are good odds. Ninety eight percent chance is good odds. Lucky was not exactly how I would descried the situation. She was given two option, to try chemo and take the chance of it not working and the cancer possibly spreading or go straight to amputation. She felt as though she had to at least try to save her leg and would go through with the chemo.
After her diagnosis my mother and I would visit her constantly. We tried too giver her and her family as much support as possible. When I was with her I found myself constantly hanging on every word she said, looking for something I could do or get her that would lift her spirits. The one thing she had brought up was that her doctor said most cancer patients dye their hair before chemo since it was all going to fall out anyways. Because she was so booked with doctor’s appointments she didn’t think she would have time to do this or anyone to help. I jumped on this opportunity and decided we would both dye our hair after I got out of work one night even though it would be late. I was going to make this happen.
Neither of us had ever dyed our hair before because we were afraid of messing it up but that seemed so miniscule at this point. It was just hair. Her being diagnosed with cancer really helped put things like that into perspective for me. I started on her first and she only wanted the tips dyed. I couldn’t promise this because I am no professional. Next it was my turn and diligently rubbing the bleach into my scalp. Finally we washed the bleach out and started with the dye. She was a little concerned with if she was going to like it when it was done or not so I tried to put a somewhat positive twist on the situation telling her “well if you don’t like it, it’s going to fall out anyways and grow back later, that’s better than me. If I hate it I’m kind of stuck with it.” She giggled and continued to pore more dye into my hair. The night was a success. By the end of it we were both leaving the bathroom with highlighter pink hair.
After two rounds of chemo the doctors said that there was change with her tumor. There was nothing good or bad added to that just the one word, change. Inside I think we all knew what was coming. The third round of chemo was cancelled and we were told that the chemo wasn’t working. The tumor had actually grown bigger. Now the only other option she was left with was amputation. Of course this is not what Colleen wanted but after the hundreds of needle pricks and sleepless nights in the hospital she was just ready to get things over with and move on with her life. The date was set for the surgery but before this I wanted to try to take her mind off things and put her in a better mood. I had just gotten a new job and needed new clothes so I suggested we go shopping. If there is one thing Colleen loves its clothes so it was nice to be able to take her mind off things and lift her spirits. She also got to spend time with my two younger cousins and went Halloween shopping. Of course out of all things she could have picked, she decides she wants to be a pirate. My aunt pointing out the obvious and asked “Colleen are you sure you want to be pirate this year you do realize your only going to have one leg?” She replied with “ill just fit the part that much better!”
Before I knew it my mom and I were off to visit Colleen in the hospital. Her surgery went flawlessly and we were going to be the first to visit. I was nervous to see her and to find out how she was doing. She had been really strong up until this point but this was kind of the point of no return. If the reality of her losing a limb hadn’t hit her yet now would be the time for that to happen. Both my mom and I were anxious until we walked in the room and were greeted with a smile. Colleen was up and looked great considering what see had been through. We were able to talk for a while until she started to nod off. Considering we were the only new people she had to talk to in a few days she had a lot to say. She was excited to start therapy and get out of the hospital. She went on and on about when she will finally be able to walk again and get a prosthetic and what designs she is going to put on it. I was so glad to see her in a positive attitude.
Colleen amazes me with how strong she has been through all of this. She doesn’t see it like this at all of course, she just sees it as what she has to do to get better. In her eyes every difficulty she faces is just one step closer to walking and being a normal seventeen year old again. She is ahead of schedule on her therapy and was even allowed to go to her schools homecoming. This was a huge deal considering just a month ago we were wondering if she would even be able to go to prom. I am so proud of her for getting through all of this and still having a positive attitude. Honestly I think if this had happened to anyone else in our family, including me it would have broken us. But not Colleen. I aspire to be as strong and collected as she is. She is truly and inspiration and a joy to be around. I am so proud to call her my cousin.
It was the first time I had come home for a few days. It was the summer after my senior year, I was busy out trying to spend as much time as possible with my friends before we were split up, hours away from each other at different colleges. I had been deep into my nap when my mother woke me up. I didn’t think much of it at first, she probably wanted to actually hold a conversation with me after all this time. Still wiping the sleep from my eyes and trying to adjust to the evening light, my mom tells me my aunt, uncle and cousin came over to visit. This isn’t two strange in my family. Random visit aren’t that random to us, but this one was. I could see on my mom’s face the look of deep concern. I could tell by the tone in her voice when she said “come down and say hello” she meant right now. I walk downstairs and could feel an unspoken tension in the room. My aunt and uncle were quiet and looked like someone had just dropped a heavy load on their shoulders. I broke the silence and asked where Colleen was. Margeret replied with a scratchy voice, “in the car, she’s on the phone with her brother.” You could tell whatever was about to happen, it wasn’t going to be good.
I suddenly remember a conversation I had with my mom a week or so before. While I was running around enjoying summer I stopped by my house to pick up some things. Right before I was able to rush out the door my mom stopped me in the kitchen. My mind was going a million ways at once thinking if I was going to need anything else for that day and everything I was doing so I was only half paying attention to what she was trying to say. While I was getting a few last minute things from the kitchen she mentioned Colleen, and how doctors had found a tumor behind her leg but weren’t sure what it was yet. Her voice was serious and you could tell she thought it was a big deal. But I wiped it away like it was nothing. Colleen is seventeen it wasn’t going to be anything bad. I said ok and to tell me if there was any more news and that was it. I walked out the door without giving it a second thought. How stupid of me.
Colleen came in and stood in the middle of the kitchen with everyone’s eyes pinned on her. My heart began to race. I kept flashing back to that day in the kitchen where I didn’t take things seriously. It couldn’t have been what I thought it was. She was going into her senior year. She was just a young unstoppable kid with a bright future ahead of her. After a few heart wrenching moments of silence her mom cut in and said “Collen you have something to tell everyone.” She looked up from her new red cowboy boots and said “The doctors did a biopsy of the tumor and I have been diagnosed with cancer.”
It felt like I had been shot in the chest. We all sat and talked about what the doctors had said and what the road ahead was going to entail. I was successfully choking back the tears until my dad began speaking. You could hear it in his voice that he was on the brink of losing it. His eyes were getting watery as he talked about my grand mom who we lost to cancer a few years earlier and what she went through. “This is going to be tough,” he said with a crackling voice. This immediately made me think of the worst case scenario. Colleen and I had just been talking about how we don’t see each other enough and wanted to spend more time together. What if we never got the chance to do this? On her way out the door we all tool terns hugging her one by one. Seeing her finally beginning to lose it I whispered in her ear it’s going to be ok. We will get through this. As she walked away tears started too streamed down my face. What if the days I get to spend with my cousin are counted?
No one ever thinks they or someone in their family is going to be diagnosed with cancer. It’s not something you prepare for, it is just thrown in your face. We were all in complete shock but had no time to let the harsh reality sink in. The next week was filled with the constant sound of phones ringing, giving us updates on hospital visits and test results. The scariest part was the unknown. We had countless questions, but not even the doctors had answers yet. All we were told was that it is a fast moving tumor and that she was lucky that it was in her leg because that leaves room for the option of amputation. At least with this specific type of cancer there is a fifty percent chance she will make it through. We were told those are good odds. Ninety eight percent chance is good odds. Lucky was not exactly how I would descried the situation. She was given two option, to try chemo and take the chance of it not working and the cancer possibly spreading or go straight to amputation. She felt as though she had to at least try to save her leg and would go through with the chemo.
After her diagnosis my mother and I would visit her constantly. We tried too giver her and her family as much support as possible. When I was with her I found myself constantly hanging on every word she said, looking for something I could do or get her that would lift her spirits. The one thing she had brought up was that her doctor said most cancer patients dye their hair before chemo since it was all going to fall out anyways. Because she was so booked with doctor’s appointments she didn’t think she would have time to do this or anyone to help. I jumped on this opportunity and decided we would both dye our hair after I got out of work one night even though it would be late. I was going to make this happen.
Neither of us had ever dyed our hair before because we were afraid of messing it up but that seemed so miniscule at this point. It was just hair. Her being diagnosed with cancer really helped put things like that into perspective for me. I started on her first and she only wanted the tips dyed. I couldn’t promise this because I am no professional. Next it was my turn and diligently rubbing the bleach into my scalp. Finally we washed the bleach out and started with the dye. She was a little concerned with if she was going to like it when it was done or not so I tried to put a somewhat positive twist on the situation telling her “well if you don’t like it, it’s going to fall out anyways and grow back later, that’s better than me. If I hate it I’m kind of stuck with it.” She giggled and continued to pore more dye into my hair. The night was a success. By the end of it we were both leaving the bathroom with highlighter pink hair.
After two rounds of chemo the doctors said that there was change with her tumor. There was nothing good or bad added to that just the one word, change. Inside I think we all knew what was coming. The third round of chemo was cancelled and we were told that the chemo wasn’t working. The tumor had actually grown bigger. Now the only other option she was left with was amputation. Of course this is not what Colleen wanted but after the hundreds of needle pricks and sleepless nights in the hospital she was just ready to get things over with and move on with her life. The date was set for the surgery but before this I wanted to try to take her mind off things and put her in a better mood. I had just gotten a new job and needed new clothes so I suggested we go shopping. If there is one thing Colleen loves its clothes so it was nice to be able to take her mind off things and lift her spirits. She also got to spend time with my two younger cousins and went Halloween shopping. Of course out of all things she could have picked, she decides she wants to be a pirate. My aunt pointing out the obvious and asked “Colleen are you sure you want to be pirate this year you do realize your only going to have one leg?” She replied with “ill just fit the part that much better!”
Before I knew it my mom and I were off to visit Colleen in the hospital. Her surgery went flawlessly and we were going to be the first to visit. I was nervous to see her and to find out how she was doing. She had been really strong up until this point but this was kind of the point of no return. If the reality of her losing a limb hadn’t hit her yet now would be the time for that to happen. Both my mom and I were anxious until we walked in the room and were greeted with a smile. Colleen was up and looked great considering what see had been through. We were able to talk for a while until she started to nod off. Considering we were the only new people she had to talk to in a few days she had a lot to say. She was excited to start therapy and get out of the hospital. She went on and on about when she will finally be able to walk again and get a prosthetic and what designs she is going to put on it. I was so glad to see her in a positive attitude.
Colleen amazes me with how strong she has been through all of this. She doesn’t see it like this at all of course, she just sees it as what she has to do to get better. In her eyes every difficulty she faces is just one step closer to walking and being a normal seventeen year old again. She is ahead of schedule on her therapy and was even allowed to go to her schools homecoming. This was a huge deal considering just a month ago we were wondering if she would even be able to go to prom. I am so proud of her for getting through all of this and still having a positive attitude. Honestly I think if this had happened to anyone else in our family, including me it would have broken us. But not Colleen. I aspire to be as strong and collected as she is. She is truly and inspiration and a joy to be around. I am so proud to call her my cousin.