Rough Draft: II
It
All Started With Jeans
It was the first time I had come home for a few days. It was the summer after my senior year, I was busy out trying to spend as much time as possible with my friends before we were split up, hours away from each other at different colleges. I had been deep into my nap when my mother woke me up. I didn’t think much of it at first, she probably wanted to actually hold a conversation with me after all this time. Still wiping the sleep from my eyes and trying to adjust to the evening light, my mom tells me my aunt, uncle and cousin came over to visit. This isn’t two strange in my family. Random visit aren’t that random to us, but this one was. I could see on my mom’s face the look of deep concern. I could tell by the tone in her voice when she said “come down and say hello” she meant right now. I walk downstairs and could feel an unspoken tension in the room. My aunt and uncle were quiet and looked like someone had just dropped a heavy load on their shoulders. I broke the silence and asked where Colleen was. Margeret replied with a scratchy voice, “in the car, she’s on the phone with her brother.” You could tell whatever was about to happen, it wasn’t going to be good. I suddenly remember a conversation I had with my mom a week or so before. It was about how Colleen had a tumor in her leg and they weren’t sure yet what it was. The conversation only lasted a minute and I had shrugged it off like it was nothing. She’s a seventeen year old going into her senior year it couldn’t have been anything bad. Suddenly my mind was racing. It couldn’t have been what I was thinking, it just couldn’t. Colleen came in and stood in the middle of the kitchen with everyone’s eyes pinned on her. After a few heart wrenching moments of silence her mom cut in and said “Collen you have something to tell everyone.” She looked up from her new red cowboy boots and said “The doctors did a biopsy of the tumor and I have been diagnosed with cancer.”
It felt like ii had been shot in the chest. We all sat and talked about what the doctors had said and what the road ahead was going to be like. I was successfully choking back the tears until my dad began speaking. You could hear it in his voice that he was on the brink of losing it. His eyes were getting watery as he talked about my grand mom who we lost to cancer a few years earlier and what she went through. I couldn’t hold them back much longer after that. This immediately made me think of the worst case scenario. Colleen and I had just been talking about how we don’t see each other enough and wanted to spend more time together. What if we never got the chance to do this? As she left the house with her parents the tears started to stream down my face. What if the days I get to spend with my cousin are counted?
No one ever thinks they or someone in their family is going to be diagnosed with cancer. It’s not something you prepare for, it is just thrown in your face. We were all in complete shock but had no time to let the harsh reality sink in. The next week was filled with the constant sound of phones ringing, giving us updates on hospital visits and test results. The scariest part was the unknown. We had countless questions, but not even the doctors had answers yet. All we were told was that it is a fast moving tumor and that she was lucky that it was in her leg because that leaves room for the option of amputation. At least with this specific type of cancer there is a fifty percent chance she will make it through. We were told those are good odds. Ninety eight percent chance is good odds. Lucky was not exactly how I would descried the situation. She was given two option, to try chemo and take the chance of it not working and the cancer possibly spreading or go straight to amputation. She felt as though she had to at least try to save her leg and would go through with the chemo.
Of course there are downfalls to chemo like losing your hair. No seventeen year old wants to lose all their hair and Colleen felt the same. This was inevitable so to make light of the situation her and I decided to squeeze in an at home salon appointment between all the tests and hospital trips to dye our hair. Neither of us had ever dyed our hair before because we were afraid of messing it up but that seemed so unimportant at this point. I started on her hair first and she only wanted the tips dyed. I couldn’t promise this because I am no professional. Next it was my turn and I started to question how much I trusted Colleen. The box did say it could burn your hair off and that the bottle will explode if you leave it untouched for more than five minutes. And this is what she was rubbing diligently into my scalp. Finally we washed the bleach out and started with the dye. It felt like slimy old ketchup squeezing onto your hands. She was a little concerned with if she was going to like it when it was done or not but I reassured her saying “well if you don’t like it, it’s going to fall out anyways and grow back later, that’s better than me. If I hate it I’m kind of stuck with it.” She giggled and continued to pore more dye into my hair. The night was a success because by the end of it we both were leaving the bathroom with highlighter pink hair.
After two rounds of chemo the doctors said that there was change with her tumor. There was nothing good or bad added to that just the one word, change. Inside I think we all knew what was coming. The third round of chemo was cancelled and we were told that the chemo wasn’t working. The tumor had actually grown bigger. Now the only other option she was left with was amputation. Of course this is not what Colleen wanted but she accepted it and kept going. At this point after the hundred of needle pricks and sleepless nights in the hospital she was just ready to get things over with and move on with her life. The date was set for the surgery but before this we of course wanted to have a little fun so we went shopping with my mom and her sister and mother. If there is one thing Colleen loves its clothes so it was nice to be able to take her mind off things and lift her spirits. She also got to spend time with my two younger cousins and went Halloween shopping. Of course out of all things she decides she wants to be a pirate. My aunt pointing out the obvious asked “Colleen are you sure you want to be pirate this year you do realize your only going to have one leg?” She replied with “ill just fit the part that much better!”
Colleen amazes me with how strong she has been through all of this. She doesn’t see it like this at all of course, she just sees it as what she has to do to get better. In her eyes every difficulty she faces is just one step closer to walking and being a normal seventeen year old again. She’s recovering amazingly after her surgery and is in the process of getting a prosthetic and getting ready to learn to walk again. The doctors say she has to have a few rounds of chemo now that her surgery is done to make sure all of the cancer cells are dead but was able to bat her eyelashes enough to convince them to push it back a week. This way she will be able to go to her schools homecoming. Things are a lot less scary now as well. There are actually set dates for chemo and therapy. We know now what is to come in the future for her recovery and she can’t wait to get it over with. After the last rounds of chemo are finished and she is able to walk again the next thing she’s worried about is prom!
It was the first time I had come home for a few days. It was the summer after my senior year, I was busy out trying to spend as much time as possible with my friends before we were split up, hours away from each other at different colleges. I had been deep into my nap when my mother woke me up. I didn’t think much of it at first, she probably wanted to actually hold a conversation with me after all this time. Still wiping the sleep from my eyes and trying to adjust to the evening light, my mom tells me my aunt, uncle and cousin came over to visit. This isn’t two strange in my family. Random visit aren’t that random to us, but this one was. I could see on my mom’s face the look of deep concern. I could tell by the tone in her voice when she said “come down and say hello” she meant right now. I walk downstairs and could feel an unspoken tension in the room. My aunt and uncle were quiet and looked like someone had just dropped a heavy load on their shoulders. I broke the silence and asked where Colleen was. Margeret replied with a scratchy voice, “in the car, she’s on the phone with her brother.” You could tell whatever was about to happen, it wasn’t going to be good. I suddenly remember a conversation I had with my mom a week or so before. It was about how Colleen had a tumor in her leg and they weren’t sure yet what it was. The conversation only lasted a minute and I had shrugged it off like it was nothing. She’s a seventeen year old going into her senior year it couldn’t have been anything bad. Suddenly my mind was racing. It couldn’t have been what I was thinking, it just couldn’t. Colleen came in and stood in the middle of the kitchen with everyone’s eyes pinned on her. After a few heart wrenching moments of silence her mom cut in and said “Collen you have something to tell everyone.” She looked up from her new red cowboy boots and said “The doctors did a biopsy of the tumor and I have been diagnosed with cancer.”
It felt like ii had been shot in the chest. We all sat and talked about what the doctors had said and what the road ahead was going to be like. I was successfully choking back the tears until my dad began speaking. You could hear it in his voice that he was on the brink of losing it. His eyes were getting watery as he talked about my grand mom who we lost to cancer a few years earlier and what she went through. I couldn’t hold them back much longer after that. This immediately made me think of the worst case scenario. Colleen and I had just been talking about how we don’t see each other enough and wanted to spend more time together. What if we never got the chance to do this? As she left the house with her parents the tears started to stream down my face. What if the days I get to spend with my cousin are counted?
No one ever thinks they or someone in their family is going to be diagnosed with cancer. It’s not something you prepare for, it is just thrown in your face. We were all in complete shock but had no time to let the harsh reality sink in. The next week was filled with the constant sound of phones ringing, giving us updates on hospital visits and test results. The scariest part was the unknown. We had countless questions, but not even the doctors had answers yet. All we were told was that it is a fast moving tumor and that she was lucky that it was in her leg because that leaves room for the option of amputation. At least with this specific type of cancer there is a fifty percent chance she will make it through. We were told those are good odds. Ninety eight percent chance is good odds. Lucky was not exactly how I would descried the situation. She was given two option, to try chemo and take the chance of it not working and the cancer possibly spreading or go straight to amputation. She felt as though she had to at least try to save her leg and would go through with the chemo.
Of course there are downfalls to chemo like losing your hair. No seventeen year old wants to lose all their hair and Colleen felt the same. This was inevitable so to make light of the situation her and I decided to squeeze in an at home salon appointment between all the tests and hospital trips to dye our hair. Neither of us had ever dyed our hair before because we were afraid of messing it up but that seemed so unimportant at this point. I started on her hair first and she only wanted the tips dyed. I couldn’t promise this because I am no professional. Next it was my turn and I started to question how much I trusted Colleen. The box did say it could burn your hair off and that the bottle will explode if you leave it untouched for more than five minutes. And this is what she was rubbing diligently into my scalp. Finally we washed the bleach out and started with the dye. It felt like slimy old ketchup squeezing onto your hands. She was a little concerned with if she was going to like it when it was done or not but I reassured her saying “well if you don’t like it, it’s going to fall out anyways and grow back later, that’s better than me. If I hate it I’m kind of stuck with it.” She giggled and continued to pore more dye into my hair. The night was a success because by the end of it we both were leaving the bathroom with highlighter pink hair.
After two rounds of chemo the doctors said that there was change with her tumor. There was nothing good or bad added to that just the one word, change. Inside I think we all knew what was coming. The third round of chemo was cancelled and we were told that the chemo wasn’t working. The tumor had actually grown bigger. Now the only other option she was left with was amputation. Of course this is not what Colleen wanted but she accepted it and kept going. At this point after the hundred of needle pricks and sleepless nights in the hospital she was just ready to get things over with and move on with her life. The date was set for the surgery but before this we of course wanted to have a little fun so we went shopping with my mom and her sister and mother. If there is one thing Colleen loves its clothes so it was nice to be able to take her mind off things and lift her spirits. She also got to spend time with my two younger cousins and went Halloween shopping. Of course out of all things she decides she wants to be a pirate. My aunt pointing out the obvious asked “Colleen are you sure you want to be pirate this year you do realize your only going to have one leg?” She replied with “ill just fit the part that much better!”
Colleen amazes me with how strong she has been through all of this. She doesn’t see it like this at all of course, she just sees it as what she has to do to get better. In her eyes every difficulty she faces is just one step closer to walking and being a normal seventeen year old again. She’s recovering amazingly after her surgery and is in the process of getting a prosthetic and getting ready to learn to walk again. The doctors say she has to have a few rounds of chemo now that her surgery is done to make sure all of the cancer cells are dead but was able to bat her eyelashes enough to convince them to push it back a week. This way she will be able to go to her schools homecoming. Things are a lot less scary now as well. There are actually set dates for chemo and therapy. We know now what is to come in the future for her recovery and she can’t wait to get it over with. After the last rounds of chemo are finished and she is able to walk again the next thing she’s worried about is prom!